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 "Cosmo es una polla" (Cosmo Cooper V Wulf Erikson Main Event promo #1)

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WulfErikson

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Posts : 15
Join date : 2017-04-05
Age : 21
Location : Roswell, NM

PostSubject: "Cosmo es una polla" (Cosmo Cooper V Wulf Erikson Main Event promo #1)   Thu Apr 27, 2017 3:59 am

SCENE ONE: “Hangin' with Mr. Cooper”


Wulf Erikson's video blog entry fades in as Wulf's foot causes the double doors to swing open, and he quickly steps through with a grin before they slam shut again. Wulf has a pair of Aviator shades on and one of his trademark neon green bandanas around his neck. He is currently dressed in his usual cherished Converse sneakers, black zip up hoodie and shredded blue jeans, an overstuffed duffel bag slung over one shoulder. The camera guy walks backward, zoning in on Wulf as he begins to speak as he makes his way down the hall..

[Wulf Erikson]: “Hey there, Xtreme Honor Wrestling! Welcome to my daily video blog entry! It's the only guy in the industry smart enough to do this shit, it's ya lil buddy Wulfie, your go-to guy for all things #flippy and man..tonight is going to be something else!”

Wulf's ears twig in the currently empty hallway as he can hear the echoes of a man talking loudly in the actual arena section. He makes the 'SHHH!' motion with a finger over his lips as he holds a hand behind his ear, straining to listen..

[Wulf Erikson]: “Wow, this is kind of cool. Somebody else is here early! Guess it's high time I go greet 'em!”

Wulf grins, motioning with a tip of his head  then beckoning the camera to follow him as he makes his way down the hallway, tracing the source of the loud voice. It doesn't take him long to reach the arena section, just inside the curtain where he covertly pokes his head through and then he covers his mouth, smothering a laugh as he realizes that it's none other than THE Wystan 'Cosmo' Cooper sounding off! Wulf shakes his head and quickly retracts it back through the curtain..

[Wulf Erikson]: “Heh. Whoops. I seem to have umm..stumbled into something super awkward. Namely, my opponent for tonight! I'ma come back later when I'm composed enough to not burst out laughing and blow my cover..laters!

Wulf turns around and gives the camera a wink as it slowly fades out.

SCENE TWO: “The great pretender..



As the second scene fades in, Wulf is in the locker room looking rather content as he casually punches away at the bag, but when he realizes that the camera is on him, he finishes up and leans against it, beginning to speak again..  

[Wulf Erikson]: “Hey Cosmo, my duder! Congratulations are in order for finally pulling a well paying gig and also for everything you have achieved here. I'm really pleased that you won your match to earn your half of the Medal of Honor. Nobody can take it away from us, we did it bud! You were bold enough to make this match happen, and I was bold enough to accept without a second's hesitation. And you know something? I'm so glad that XHW finally produced a Medal of Honor of your very own. You know, because you don't need the recognition. I can't deny that it looks good on you, man. Not quite as good as it looks on me, but it sure as hell goes a long way toward providing that vital little something that you're completely missing. You know, that thing that has previously been keeping you from scoring a major contract. Personality”.

Wulf gives the camera his patented lopsided grin..

[Wulf Erikson]: “This Cosmo indie wannabe may be as bland as bird droppings, but to his credit, he sure has the attitude of somebody who gets to work for more than five bucks and a hot dog!

He turns his head to the side, the lopsided grin growing just a little wider..


[Wulf Erikson]: “Now that Cosmo has landed a contract with XHW, maybe the poor fella can afford some damn boots! Cosmo, pull your head out for just ONE freakin second, 'broski'. You're not different, do you know what you are? Barefoot. You're fucking BAREFOOT. You're standing on your own two targets! It's dickhead moves like this that make a guy wish he was an asshole – it truly does”.

Wulf makes a face and clenches a fist wistfully, then points to the camera lens..


[Wulf Erikson]: “If The Wulf were a total dick about things, this match would be over before it began. You bet your ass I would not hesitate to stomp on this arrogant shit's foot SO hard! And he would deserve the hell out of that. When Cosmo inevitably dropped his guard to nurse his busted foot, I'd hook his arm, swing his ass over my shoulder and drop him on his bloated head!”

Wulf shakes his head, issuing a snort of derision..

[Wulf Erikson]: “It would be like taking candy from a baby, dropping Cosmo on his fat head before casually climbing the ladder that I'm so fond of, retrieving the unified Medal of Honor! But I can't do that. Wulfie ain't about that low-down life. And I'm not about to disappoint the fans like that!”

Wulf steps away from the bag and opens up the fridge, grabbing a bottle of spring water. He opens the bottle with his teeth and takes a quick drink before continuing to speak..


[Wulf Erikson]: “Sorry about that, much like Cosmo's sense of humor, I was parched. Heh. In all seriousness, in the interest of a talked-about main event, I want to have a REAL match with this guy. I want Cosmo to have a chance to be competitive with those bare-ass feet of his. I want Cosmo to try to 'suplex me outta my skin', so I can easily flip my way out and drop him with one of my own! He sure as hell wouldn't be expecting it, he overlooks and underestimates every damn thing about me! And I should probably inform him that his information source is - mostly - a useless cunt. But that's really neither here nor there”.

Wulf grins and shrugs his shoulders..

[Wulf Erikson]: “How detrimental is Cosmo's outlook, fans? Why is Cosmo doing that to himself? Ladder matches are this Cooper guy's least favorite match, yet I love taking to the skies. It's poetic! What better way is there to figuratively tea-bag Cosmo Cooper than from the top of a ladder, right smack dab in the middle of my element?!”

Wulf opens up his locker and takes his bag out before placing it on the bench and taking a seat next to it. He folds his hands behind his head before another knowing grin crosses his face..


[Wulf Erikson]: “But then again, this is the same guy who calls people 'generic', even though let's be honest, Cosmo is basically random macho bag-o-douche #57 in short shorts. I'm not exaggerating, the guy simply is not as distinctive as he wishes to be. The Wulf on the other hand?”

He simply throws his arms out wide in a shrug as if to say 'where do I start?'

[Wulf Erikson]: Gee, Cosmo, while you've been previously stuck somewhere around the midcard in the armories and bingo halls of the world...have you considered that why all these companies actively pursue me is because Wulf Erikson has such a unique style and persona that they're catching on that he is pulling in more than just a jock minority niche audience? Have you considered that these promoters know that I work hard and I wants this BAD enough to make my professional wrestling life work, and despite my style, that I have the endurance to see it through? Dude. Be real. I'm not trying to hold anything over your head, I'm just being real here. You ain't going to send Wulf Erikson anywhere besides the proverbial 'rung' above you. Oh wait, you don't have to a damn thing because I'm already there!

Wulf snickers as he reaches for his smart phone and opens up the menu, but he quickly composes himself..

[Wulf Erikson]: “Oh I see that you don't like my jokes, my pranks or the things I post on social media, Cosmo. That's your major problem with me? Well newsflash. That's TOO FREAKIN' BAD! Unlike you, I don't post stuff to try to impress anyone. I post things that I find amusing. My posts are for me and my fans to chuckle at, they're not for overly-serious mush heads like you to dissect. There's nothing to dissect. It made me laugh. That's it. If you don't like it, you know where the mute or block button is!”

Wulf holds up the screen of his phone and points to the top right corner of his Twitter page..

[Wulf Erikson]: “And speaking of which, if somebody is making things difficult on those platforms, or if you find them annoying, why are you keeping them around? Hey, if somebody is a sour, toxic piece of shit trying to bring everyone down to their level, what's the point in keeping them around to drive the knife in your back when you can cut them out of the picture altogether? Why do you keep people around who inconvenience you, Cosmo? Are you a glutton for punishment? Are you...stupid?

Wulf pauses, looking earnestly at the camera for a second..

[Wulf Erikson]: “It's that simple. It's not being a 'diaper baby', it's common fucking sense!”

Wulf scans through his Twitter feed until he finds Cosmo's profile picture..

[Wulf Erikson]: “Ahhh. That profile picture of yours. The one where you're grinnin' like an idiot and have championships linked around each shoulder. Man, who are you trying to kid? I don't know how heavily the rules are enforced in some promotions, but doesn't history generally dictate that you have to win titles to be a champion? Unless you're simply POSING with them”.

Wulf smirks as he locates his own profile again..

[Wulf Erikson]: “And well..then you look at my profile picture. I am also holding a championship belt. But you see, the difference here is..”

He unzips his bag and he retrieves the WWH Hellsfire Extreme title, carefully unfolding it and holding it up for the camera..
 

[Wulf Erikson]: “I am an actual champion. I have successfully defended this twice since April 9. I am also the number one contender for the UWE Canadian strap, and I literally conquered a giant to do it! What's that you were saying about being a 'typical loser', 'desperately needing' things? When you look at our profile pictures, there is only one grinning idiot who appears to be desperate for anything!”

[Wulf Erikson]: “Your 'easy gold' analogy is downright insulting. Not just to me, but to the wrestling business and anybody who has ever held a title! There is no such thing as 'easy gold', Cosmo. But you wouldn't know that. Oh wait, maybe you would. Because this is your very first taste of achievement, Cosmo. And that win you brag about, it didn't come as easily as you claim. I watched the damn match. It was a great match, and it was heartbreakingly close. But it wasn't easy for you. Man, the more I go on, the more your credibility goes down the toilet. You have spun so much shit, contradicted yourself on so many occasions, and you have made so many assumptions that nobody is going to trust you when you say you have done your homework. You're really shitting the bed here. You don't like having egg on your face, but The Wulf is making you look like a freakin' omelet!

[Wulf Erikson]: “Oh wow. Another assumption. And a gay joke to boot! And Cosmo says the stuff I say is lame and pathetic. Dude. Take a GOOD look..”

He stands up and sheds the zip-up hoodie, running a hand down his side..

[Wulf Erikson]: “Sure, my muscles don't have muscles, but I'm not exactly 'disgusting', as per your exaggeration”.

Wulf flexes, and while he is fairly shredded, his ribcage protrudes faintly..

[Wulf Erikson]: “I may even be a little on the scrawny side at 185. Muscle mass isn't conductive to my fast-paced offence, I have no real use for it. But I don't sit around eating carb-loaded greasy food either. Keep it up with the assumptions and underestimation, Cosmo. You're going to assume and underestimate your way to a demoralising defeat that was right in front of your face, but because you're on planet Cosmo, you never saw coming! It's time to come back to reality man, you're taking on Wulf Erikson in a LADDER match for a significant prize! Wake up, Cosmo! Wake UP!”

Wulf slaps the locker behind him rapidly several times, as if to make enough noise to wake somebody up..


[Wulf Erikson]: ARE YOU SERIOIUS, Cosmo? I'll have you know, that I was initially approached to fill the role of something of an agent and a trainer. An office all rounder, if you will. Yes, a twenty one year old who has the experience under his belt to spearhead a locker room? Who'd have thunk it? It was never intended that I join the roster. But since you're all such MEGA stars and you're so helpful to the company that does so much for you, the roster and fanbase didn't grow to the extent that was required to put on this first Fallout show in time. I had to step in at the last minute and I was advertised late. But that's not the point. Instead of berating me for something that isn't my fault in the least bit, when I CLEARLY literally sold tickets, and you did NOTHING of the sort to remedy the company's 10,000 seat oversight, why don't you actually do the homework you claim to have done, asshole?”

Wulf starts rummaging through his bag as he angrily exhales, managing to compose himself again..

[Wulf Erikson – imitating Cosmo's voice]: Duuhhh I didn’t ask for this match because I didn’t want to share with you, Wulf. I share just fine. I didn’t want to share it with YOU”. Do you see how much this meathead contradicts himself? I'm done. I'm seriously done. There is a LOOMING shadow of doubt that Cosmo even knows his asshole from breakfast time at this point, let alone being able to actually win a ladder match against the the likes of The Wulf. But it remains to be seen. It's a fairly foregone conclusion right here, but as Cosmo himself says..anything can happen in a ladder match!

Wulf nods to the camera guy..

[Wulf Erikson]: “That's a wrap, Jimbo. You've done an awesome job dude, thank you! Go get yourself a mad ass feed, here it's my treat..”

The scene slowly fades out when Jimbo hits the button while Wulf is reaching for his wallet..

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"Cosmo es una polla" (Cosmo Cooper V Wulf Erikson Main Event promo #1)
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