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 The Bigger they are

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DouglasArmatage

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Posts : 11
Join date : 2017-05-02

PostSubject: The Bigger they are    Fri May 05, 2017 3:18 pm

Date: May 3rd, 2017
Place: Magazine St Barber Shop
Time: 2:30 P.M.

(The camera walks through the door of the Magazine St Barber Shop in New Orleans LA men sit in chairs waiting as others sit in the chairs having their haircut or beards trimmed. The men banter back and forth joking and laughing as the camera focuses on one chair in the back. The person in the back is laid back a warm towel wrapped around his face so we can’t see who it is. The barber an older man comes over and pulls the lever making the chair rises up. As the chair comes to stop in an upright position the barber removes the towel and we see the newest member of XHW Douglas Armatage the man bringing the Bearded Army to everyone across the world. )

Barber Joe: So Douglas what are we doing today just a trim or something more?

Douglas: You know better then that Joe just the trim today make the sides look nice.

(Joe starts triming and cutting the hair on the sides of Douglas’s head as he starts idley talking with his customer.)

Joe: Hear ya got your first match with XHW this weekend and one of them boys is built like a brick shithouse?

Douglas: (Laughing) yeah Kristian Bane he is a big boy alright and I am sure many people make the same jokes about him being some steroid freak or what ever but I have seen men just as big as him and I know that can be all natural.

Customer 1: Yeah I had a cousin worked out like 10 hours a day man was so big he had to turn side ways to enter a room.

(Other Customers laugh with Joe and Douglas at the first man’s story.)

Douglas: Well he is not that big but he is a beast for sure, but I have faced men like him and a good punch or kick in the right spot they fall like giant fell in Jack and the Bean Stalk.

Joe: ah yeah TIIIMBERRRRR (He motions like he is chopping down a tree.)

Douglas: Exactly the bigger they are the harder they fall and I can attest to that for sure. I mean at 5’11 alot of these jacked up meat heads are bigger than me but in the end they all fall to the Bearded Army in one way or another.

(Douglas looks over and we see another customer where another barber is lathering on shaving cream over the young man's scraggly beard. Not wasting a moment Douglas jumps out of his chair and grabs the barber's hand.)

Douglas: Whoa let's slow down there for a second I can not let you shave off this mans beard. You Understand that is against the beard code.

(The young man looks up nervously at Douglas.)

Young Customer: But my girlfriend says it makes her itchy and it's rough and scraggly.

Douglas: (Shaking his head as he wipes off the shaving cream) Kid listen that's because no one ever taught you how to take care of a beard. You see a beard is what differentiates men from women. A beard is something to be honored and respected and if you treat it right it will treat you right.

(Douglas stands back to the camera and then after moving back we see the kids once scraggly beard is neat and tram and well kept. The kid runs his hands through his beard and smiles.)

Young Customer: Wow it’s so soft I am sure she will love it now.

Douglas: Good now just take this bag and these instructions and one day your beard can be as great as mine.

(The kid leaves the shop as Douglas sits back in his chair.)

Douglas: Young kids these days it's like their dads didn’t teach them anything. (A smile crosses his face) That reminds me this match of mine is a little three way dance and there is another kid ….umm his name is ….(Snaps fingers) MATT ANGEL!! Yeah that's the kids name Now talk about another big guy but he is more hmmm I would say wiry yeah that's the word I would use.

Joe: Sounds like you may be the shortest guy in this match Douglas. HAHAHA

(The room goes instantly quiet as everyone looks at Douglas to see how he is going to react. The smile drops from his face and he turns looking at Joe who takes a step back. Then just as quickly Douglas starts laughing as does the rest of the shop and Joe nervously wipes his forehead.)

Douglas: ha good one Joe, you’re right of course I am the smallest height wise for sure but you all know me I am a scrapper, a fighter and I don’t plan on given in that easily. Actually I feel like this will give me the advantage as I think they might underestimate me which is a mistake.

(Joe finishes cutting his hair and cleans him up Douglas stands looks in the mirror and gives himself a quick once over before throwing some cash on the counter and turning toward the door. As he goes to exit he stops and turns back to the shop.)

Douglas: Boys just remember one thing take care of your beard and your lady and you will never they will stand by you always.

(He winks and walks out the door and down the street. The camera rushes out the door and catches up with Douglas).

Douglas: Bloody hell mate really gonna scare a guy arent ya. (He says to the camera man) What ye want mate you need more about my upcoming match? Fine follow me.

(The two men walk down a street and stop outside a voodoo shop Douglas turns to face the camera.)


Douglas: So it seems everyone wants to know what I have planned for my match on the 7th. To be honest my plan is to walk into the ring and hand both those boys the ass whooping their daddies never did. Now I am sure many people out there are looking at this sexy hairy bearded man standing before you and are filled with doubts that I could handle a man beast like Kristian Bane, but ye forget that no matter how big someone is you hit them hard enough and enough times they will go down like a fucking Clydesdale on ice.

The other concern is if I am taking this serious enough and I will tell you right now I am because I have a lot on the line in this first match. It will set the tone for my career here in XHW and I plan on that being a winning career. Kristian bane should realize right now no matter how big he is I will chop him down to size and pin his shoulders to that mat 1-2-3.


(Douglas pauses and strokes his beard lost in thought for a moment.)

Douglas: Of course that leads us to my other opponent Mike ...no wait Matt Angel yeah this tall drink of water is a fast son o bitch and he uses his head in that ring. His biggest mistake is the risk he takes. The boy is an adrenaline junky looking for his next fix in that ring and I think it’s time I cut him off cold turkey. Thats right Matt your supply is cut off when you step in that ring with me and I plan on leaving you with more than the shakes. My plan is to hand you that first L in the loss column.

Now boys I am sure you will both come back with some witty retorts and words about how tough ye are and how bad you will kick my ass yada yada yada …..but just think of it this way when you lose to me you are losing to the future champion of this promotion. The Beard that pays the bills. The 5 Star General of the Bad ass Bearded Army, The man himself the Beardfather, and I have no intention of walking out of that ring with a loose. So you better accept the fact that if you plan on winning you better be ready to kill me because that's the only way I am going down in this fight.


(Douglas pulls out a flask takes a quick swig and then winks at the camera before turning and walking down the street.)
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